Laurence J. Peter Quotes

Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.

The surest sign that you haven't any sense is to argue with one who hasn't.

There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us

It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.

Everyone is in awe of the lion tamer in a cage with half a dozen lions-everyone but a school bus driver.

Reality is for people who can't face drugs.

Before publishers' blurbs were invented, authors had to make their reputations by writing.

America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.

You don't need to take a persons advice to make him feel good, just ask him for it.

Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.

As the farmer said, "I'm not greedy, all I want is the land next to mine.

If we lacked imagination enough to foresee something better, life would indeed be a tragedy.

Noblest of all dogs is the hot-dog; it feeds the hand that bites it.

You shouldn't punish others for your own choices.

When a person puts his best foot forward and gets it stepped on, that's life.

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.

A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it.

When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.

Incompetence plus incompetence equals incompetence.

Competition in academia is so vicious because the stakes are so small.

You could generally inform a real close friend: when you have manufactured a idiot of on your own he does not truly feel you've finished a long lasting job.

We are members of a strange species that devotes its energies to climbing the ladder of success in order to make money to buy things we don't like.

A man convinced against his will is not convinced.

If the outcome is good, what's the difference between motives that sound good and good, sound motives?

Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.

A lawyer is a man who helps you get what is coming to him.

Men now monopolize the upper levels... depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence.

Middle age is when the best exercise is one of discretion.

In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.

Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame. Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices. In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.

The problem with temptation is that you may not get another chance.

A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.

If at first you don't succeed, you may be at your level of incompetence already.

There is no stigma attached to recognizing a bad decision in time to install a better one.

The advantage of modern means of communication is they enable you to worry about things in all of the world

Bore : A fellow who can change the subject back to his topic of conversation faster than you can change it back to yours.

Middle age is when anything new in the way you feel is most likely a symptom.

If you can't keep up, drag them down to your level.

Scientists are still trying to produce life in the laboratory, but it shouldn't be difficult if the laboratory assistant is pretty and willing.

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.

Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.

An optimist is one who makes the best of it when he gets the worst of it.