Mignon McLaughlin Quotes

Everybody can write; writers can't do anything else.

An old racetrack joke reminds you that your program contains all the winners' names. I stare at my typewriter keys with the same thought.

A parent who has never apologized to his children is a monster. If he's always apologizing, his children are monsters.

Pity all newlyweds. She cooks something nice for him, and he brings her flowers, and they kiss and think: How easy marriage is.

People keep telling us about their love affairs, when what we really want to know is how much money they make and how they manage on it.

Men gossip less than women, but mean it.

The neurotic always wishes people would let him alone - until they do.

We catch frightful glimpses of ourselves in the hostile eyes of others.

People are like birds: on the wing, all beautiful; up close, all beady little eyes.

I often pray, though I'm not really sure Anyone's listening; and I phrase it carefully, just in case He's literary.

Women are good listeners, but it's a waste of time telling your troubles to a man unless there's something specific you want him to do.

Those who are brutally honest are seldom so with themselves.

Most of our diversions do not so much delay death as accustom us to it.

In church, sacred music would make believers of us all — but preachers can be counted on to restore the balance.

Every day of our lives we are on the verge of making those slight changes that would make all the difference.

I'm always there to tell people that their life is not that bad. I wish it was easy to follow that advice.

Cash is the one gift everyone despises and no one turns down.

A woman asks little of love: only that she be able to feel like a heroine.

Character is what emerges from all the little things you were too busy to do yesterday, but did anyway.

Being neurotic is like shooting fish in a barrel, and missing them.

The death of someone we know always reminds us that we are still alive - perhaps for some purpose which we ought to re-examine.

Many of us are equal to life's emergencies who cannot bear its day-after-dayness.

Few novels or plays could exist without at least one troublemaker in the group, and perhaps life couldn't either.

A husband only worries about a particular Other Man; a wife distrusts her whole species.

The excesses of love soon pass, but its insufficiencies torment us forever.

Many beautiful women have been made happy by their own beauty, but no intelligent woman has ever been made happy by her own intelligence.

I'm afraid to win, and afraid to lose; I hate a draw and can't stop competing; otherwise I'm fine.

Neurotic: someone who can go from the bottom to the top, and back again, without ever once touching the middle.

The neurotic longs to touch bottom, so at least he won't have that to worry about anymore.

In life, as in restaurants, we swallow a lot of indigestible stuff just because it comes with the dinner.

There's no way to repay a mother's love, or lack of it.

Don't ask others to forgive in you a sin they're dying to commit themselves.

It is always safe to tell people that they're looking wonderful.

We come late, if at all, to wine and philosophy: whiskey and action are easier.

A perfect marriage is one in which "I'm sorry" is said just often enough.

The neurotic usually obeys his own Golden Rule: Hate thy neighbor as thyself.

It upsets women to be, or not to be, stared at hungrily.

Make a habit of telling the truth, or make a habit of lying: to decide each case on its own merits is exhausting, and hardly ever worth it.

The neurotic believes that life has meaning, but that his life hasn't.

Women usually love what they buy, yet hate two-thirds of what is in their closets.

Men who don't like girls with brains don't like girls.

The neurotic is always half-drowning in anxiety, and always being half-rescued.

Others follow patterns; we alone are unpredictable.

All women are basically in competition with each other for a handful of eligible men.

No one ever loved anyone the way that person wanted to be loved.

Women flirt to keep their stock high, men to get somewhere.

Many things can make you miserable for weeks; few can bring you a whole day of happiness.

Good-looking girls break hearts, and goodhearted girls mend them.