I love New York, and I'm drawn to a certain intensity of life, but I've just never felt like I want to escape from the Midwest. A writer lives a great deal in his own head, and so one intuitively finds places where your head is more clear. New York for me is one of those places.
Garrison KeillorI think that if writers are tempted to do other things, they ought to go do other things. They should not write if they don't feel like it. I say this as a competitor. I am not interested in encouraging people who are in competition with me.
Garrison KeillorIt was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.
Garrison KeillorNothing that readers say or do strikes me as a nuisance. Anyone who cracks open a book of mine is, to me, a gem.
Garrison KeillorSome of us have a relentless urge to attempt what we can never be good at and neglect our true calling.
Garrison KeillorMajestic doesn't appeal to us. We [Americans] like the Grand Canyon better with Clarence and Arlene parked in front of it, smiling.
Garrison KeillorSpending time in a church does not make you religious, any more than spending time in a garage makes you a car.
Garrison KeillorPowdermilk biscuits: Heavens, theyre tasty and expeditious! Theyre made from whole wheat, to give shy persons the strength to get up and do what needs to be done
Garrison KeillorFace it: a nation that maintains a 72% approval rating on George W. Bush is a nation with a very loose grip on reality.
Garrison KeillorGod writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
Garrison KeillorA married guy is responsible for everything, no matter what. Women, thanks to their having been oppressed all these years, are blameless, free as birds, and all the dirt they do is the result of premenstrual syndrome or postmenstrual stress or menopause or emotional disempowerment by their fathers or low expectations by their teachers or latent unspoken sexual harassment in the workplace, or some other airy excuse. The guy alone is responsible for every day of marriage that is less than marvelous and meaningful.
Garrison KeillorOne day Donald Trump will discover that he is owned by Lutheran Brotherhood and must re negotiate his debt load with a committee of silent Norwegians who dont understand why anyone would pay more than $120.00 for a suit.
Garrison KeillorOne reads books in order to gain the privilege of living more than one life. People who don't read are trapped in a mine shaft, even if they think the sun is shining.
Garrison Keillor...opening up a newspaper is the key to looking classy and smart. Never mind the bronze-plated stuff about the role of the press in a democracy - a newspaper, kiddo, is about Style.
Garrison Keillor..people (in Minnesota) avoid stupidity when possible, not wanting to be a $10 haircut on a 50 cent head.
Garrison KeillorI feel it's so hard for young actors; It's a different world that they're coming up in; there's so much money to be made off of their personal lives, and people are bound and determined to make that money.
Garrison KeillorNo matter what time of year I come here, people always say the same thing: Its not usually like this.
Garrison KeillorRalph Stanley is like an uncle to us and now that all my uncles are gone, Ralph's singing is even more precious. This album of classic folk songs is one of his best.
Garrison KeillorWe come from people who brought us up to believe that life is a struggle, and if you should feel really happy, be patient: this will pass.
Garrison KeillorYou'd learn more about the world by lying on the couch and drinking gin out of a bottle than by watching the news.
Garrison KeillorNothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.
Garrison KeillorSelective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance: it might frighten you. Parents should sit tall in the saddle and look upon their troops with a noble and benevolent and extremely nearsighted gaze.
Garrison KeillorVacation cruises are advertised as luxurious journeys to exotic places, but a chief pleasure is the reading of books ... . On steamer chairs topside or poolside, in the lounges, everywhere you see men and women with their noses in books, devouring them for hours.
Garrison KeillorCleverness is a burden after that. You are supposed to settle down and be a good person, raise your children, and be good to your friends, which you may not have been back when you were clever.
Garrison KeillorIt's confidence; it has to be something good about getting old. One of the things is that you just don't stress about some stuff that made you so worried.
Garrison KeillorRoy Blount's stuff makes me laugh so hard, sometimes I have to go sit in a room and shut the door
Garrison KeillorWhen it comes to finding available men in Minnesota, the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
Garrison Keillor