Adam Sandler Quotes

A lot of critics object to what I do, but I got into comedy to make people laugh, and I've always worked hard.

I still like some of the stuff, skateboarding. Just stupid things.

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

In one day, I have times where I'm feeling great, I feel like I love my life, and then 2:30 rolls around and I'm the angriest man alive. My wife sees it.

I never want movie theaters go away. It is the greatest time out on the town. You go out, it's a great place to go, great location, great hang, great date, good place to be with friends. But as an actor who works hard at making movies, I am glad that no matter what people can see your movie on. It's hard to keep a theater for long time; there are so many movies, so when you leave a theater, you're just glad there's a life for your movie.

I finished a big book the other day. 421 pages. That's a lot of coloring when you think about it.

I've always liked older ladies, ever since my mother would have B'nai B'rith at our house.

I'm not comfortable being around too many people. I don't like being out in public too much. I don't like going to bars. I don't like doing celebrity stuff. So most of the characters I play are people who don't always feel comfortable beyond their small circle of friends.

In high school I wanted to be a rock star and was in a lot of bands.

Mama says that, happiness is from magic rays of sunshine that come down when you're feeling blue.

Hanukkah is...the festival of lights, instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights

My name is Adam. My father's name is Adam. Having the same name as your father, it's alright until your voice changes. My friends would always call up, 'Is Adam there?' My father would say, 'This is Adam.' My friends would say, 'Adam, you were so wasted last night.'

I don't like being out in public too much. I don't like going to bars. I don't like doing celebrity stuff.

I go to sleep thinking about my kids being spoiled and I wake up thinking about it.

I'm not great at bedtime stories. Bedtime stories are supposed to put the kid to sleep. My kid gets riled up and then my wife has to come in and go, 'All right! Get out of the room.'

One night I couldn't sleep. It was like 2:00 in the morning. I was thinking, 'What can I do?' I'm watching TV. I'm like, 'Let me do something else.' I'm not going to fall asleep for a few hours. What are my hobbies? There was the masturbation option. I skipped that because just knowing my kids are down the hall I felt psychotic. So, I went with watching more TV. I couldn't come up with anything. I was going, 'God, read a book.' Then I was like this, 'Where do I keep the books?' I've got nothing to do but watch TV.

He has a 5 year plan... What is it, don't die?

Most of the stuff I do on the show comes out of me just trying to make my friends laugh.

I don't know what drives me to succeed. I know I want to always do the best I can. I never was like that as a kid.

I'm not making every decision due to my children. But I do hope they never see some movies I'm doing. But I do want to do more family-friendly movies.

The Canteen Boy, the reason you feel bad for him and you can laugh is because he, and I guess a lot of my characters, they don't notice they're getting made fun of. So they'll say something back that's not that great a quip, but in their mind they won the argument.

I've got a hockey record, I took off my skate and tried to stab a guy, I'm the only person who ever tried that.

I'm in a mood, Dave. A bad mood, a very bad mood! I was fired from my ice cream truck job today! No more Fudgicles!

Sir one more comment like that and I will strangle you with my microphone wire!

I say things, like every other parent, that reminds you of your own parents. One thing I do know about being a parent, you understand why your father was in a bad mood a lot.

The fact that you can see a movie at home, it's great. You're making it for as many people to see it as possible. And that's nice.

I like sitting and writing with my buddies.

I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.

I definitely connected to the fact that life gets out of control and you end up doing things and wishing you were doing other things instead.

It's just weird that out of nowhere God said, May the three best-looking guys in Hollywood have babies - Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt and me. It was bizarre that God said, I want to make the planet more beautiful, and I got the call.

Sometimes you can't prioritise family and you feel guilty.

I guess in my house when I was growing up, I was comfortable trying to be funny. And my dad, of course, it bugged him sometimes. He was trying to rest, and I was constantly trying to say something stupid to get a reaction. But I like doing these movies. You can do it in front of the camera and then it's over. I don't have to worry about being in front of too many people.

I'm 31 now. I think I'm beginning to understand what life is, what romance is, and what a relationship means.

I think the reason I don't read is because, when I'm reading, I feel like I'm missing out on something else. You know, What are my friends doing? Where's my girlfriend?

My kids don't have a trust fund, they have a debt fund. And when I die, they're $4 million in the hole.

It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.

Well, we're living in a material world, and I'm a material girl... or boy.

I choose to ignore hell in my life. When I was a little kid I asked my Dad "Am I going to go to hell?" because I'd heard about hell. And he said, "Nothing you're gonna do will get you into hell." And so I got to ignore it.

When I'm up there, and I know the show's coming to a close, in my head I'm saying to myself, Oh man, you gotta get off and be a normal person again. That's what I don't like so much.

I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes. Although I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.

I was raised by a mother who told me I was great every day of my life.

I had my moments of being humiliated, and then I had moments of doing something humiliating. I'm glad I lived out both roles.

Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.

When I was a kid you always heard about the Israeli army and you always heard about this tiny little country and how everyone around them wants them gone, and every time somebody comes after them they take care of business. And so as a Jewish kid you were proud of that.

I do feel good doing them [family-friendly movies], but it's not going to be my way of life. I'm a comedian.

I wanted to make sure that I did one movie in my career that mothers hug me for.

I don't want want to go to jail, I'm fragile.

Me and Fred Wolf wrote the movie [ Grown Ups]. The whole idea was about putting together old friends that get to hang out for a weekend.