Bill Cosby Quotes

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We're not raising children with the love that we need to.

Bill Cosby

Give me 200 active 2-year-olds and I could conquer the world.

Bill Cosby

A child who is disciplined will be more obedient and also more organized as a student.

Bill Cosby

I'm not going out and hitting a 95-mph fastball where I can't see the stitches. I'm not on a professional football team looking to tackle a fullback who is built like solid wood. I'm a thinking person, and I've been blessed with the ability to see some things and talk about them in a way that registers in a humorous and funny way.

Bill Cosby

You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.

Bill Cosby

Dentists tell you not to pick your teeth with any sharp metal object. Then you sit in their chair and the first thing they grab is an iron hook.

Bill Cosby

"And tired" always followed sick. Worst beating I ever got in my life, my mother said, "I am just sick..." And I said, "And tired." I don't remember anything after that.

Bill Cosby

Old is always fifteen years from now.

Bill Cosby

The first time I came across the birds and the bees in actual flight, I couldn't identify the formation.

Bill Cosby

I have to follow my thoughts and mine for the gold. I have to dig it out.

Bill Cosby

When you're a father you censor yourself. You get just as angry with a child but you don't want to say, "What the filth and foul and I'll filth and foul, filth and foul and, yeah, ya filth and foul face, and I'll filth and foul, foul, filth!" You don't want to say that to a child so you censor yourself and you sound like an idiot: "What the... Get your... I'll put a... Get out of my face!"

Bill Cosby

If you can find humour in anything, you can survive it

Bill Cosby

All men should freely use those seven words which have the power to make any marriage run smoothly: You know dear, you may be right

Bill Cosby

There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right.

Bill Cosby

...it was the arts, those noble expressions of the human spirit that are communicated through literature, dance, song, film, drama, painting and sculpture, among the many other such creative means, that helped articulate the sufferings of [these] people that were heard around the globe.

Bill Cosby

We go out of our way to make people so different,... to punish them because of color, because of sex, because of size, and the game starts.

Bill Cosby

Social networking helps reach people easier and quicker.

Bill Cosby

Parents are people who yell and they yell and they yell and they yell. And you already have the point... and they're still yelling.

Bill Cosby

The secret of success is to be like a duck, Smooth and unruffled on top, But paddling furiously underneath.

Bill Cosby

My wife was a beautiful woman before we had children.

Bill Cosby

I feel that in-person contact with people is the most important thing in comedy. While I'm up on stage, I can actually put myself into the audience and adjust my pace and tuning to them. I can get into their heads through their ears and through their eyes. Only through this total communication can I really achieve what I'm trying to do.

Bill Cosby

Immortality is a long shot, I admit. But somebody has to be first.

Bill Cosby

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.

Bill Cosby

I wanted to give the house back to the parents.

Bill Cosby

It's painful, but we can't heal ourselves unless we cleanse the wounds.

Bill Cosby

When I was a child, I was living in the housing projects of Philadelphia. I didn't even have a Christmas tree.

Bill Cosby

Every romance does not lead to sex.

Bill Cosby

Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.

Bill Cosby

My dad came over to the house... went into his pocket and pulled out a handful of money, and began to pass it out to the children... This was the same man who, when I was his child, I would ask him for 50 cents, this man would tell me his life's story.

Bill Cosby

Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children.

Bill Cosby

You go and you buy a lottery ticket. You've got just as much chance of getting struck by lightning as you do of winning the lottery.

Bill Cosby

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

Bill Cosby

There are no absolutes in raising children. In any stressful situation, fathering is always a roll of the dice. The game may be messy, but I have never found one with more joys and rewards.

Bill Cosby

I think you need to make responsibility something that's not just a word.

Bill Cosby

Never forget that the devil is there 24/7 too. He's very, very busy.

Bill Cosby

Fatherhood is asking your son to make up a name rather than tell anybody who he is.

Bill Cosby

I'm not sure if my parents had me because they loved me, or because they wanted someone to watch their other children.

Bill Cosby

If you want to be seen, stand up. If you want to be heard, speak up. If you want to be appreciated, shut up.

Bill Cosby

The essence of childhood, of course, is play.

Bill Cosby

Racial humor was about 35% of my act when I first started. But I realized that it was a crutch. What brought it home was when another comedian said to me, 'If you changed color tomorrow, you wouldn't have any material.' He meant it as a put-down, but I took it as a challenge.

Bill Cosby

I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.

Bill Cosby

In spite of what Thomas Jefferson wrote, all men may be created equal, but not to all women.

Bill Cosby

Every success story has a parent who says, 'over my dead body.' Every success story has an old person who walks up to you and says, when you're acting the fool, 'you know I worry about you sometimes.'

Bill Cosby

My mother was an authority on pig sties. This is the worst looking pigsty I have ever seen in my life, and I want it cleaned up right now.

Bill Cosby

The serve was invented so that the net could play.

Bill Cosby

Gray hair is God's graffiti.

Bill Cosby

Parenting needs to come to the forefront.

Bill Cosby

I'm going out... because I deserve to go out! And I'm going to get drunk... because I deserve to get drunk! And get out of my way!

Bill Cosby
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