Koko B. Ware is a crossword wrestler: he enters the ring vertically, and leaves horizontally.
Jerry LawlerCena with the WWE Title, Randy Orton with the Money In The Bank briefcase, & Daniel Bryan with the beard.
Jerry LawlerHey Mark Henry, where are your gold medals? We all know that if Mark Henry won a gold medal he'd just take it and have it bronzed.
Jerry LawlerDustin Runnels came up to me and asked me if I made my peace with God today. I don't know if I ever had a fight with him.
Jerry LawlerI've been here for nine years, and over that time, these people have become like my family.
Jerry LawlerIt used to be that Shamrock was the world's most dangerous man, but now Shamrock is the world's most dangerous speedbump.
Jerry LawlerJake [Roberts] is feeling a little under the weather. He has bar-thritis. That's when because stiffin' a different joint every night.
Jerry LawlerOf course, the whole Andy Kaufman angle was classic. I'm real proud of that. I mean that is something people are still talking about 20 years later, making movies about and that sort of thing. I mean not a day goes by that someone doesn't mention Andy Kaufman to me
Jerry LawlerI asked Sunny if she would ever consider dating you. She said she would rather give birth to a porcupine on fire.
Jerry LawlerJake Robert's wife is real ugly, but according to him that's nothing a six pack and a light switch can't fix.
Jerry LawlerWhat do Jake 'The Snake' Roberts and a beer bottle have in common? They're both empty from the neck up!
Jerry LawlerThe only reason Jake 'The Snake' Roberts doesn't drink and drive anymore is because he is afraid he might hit a bump and spill his drink.
Jerry LawlerYou know how I impress girls at the gym? I do pull ups: I pull up in a Corvette, in a Cadillac, and in a Mercedes.
Jerry LawlerI don't think that McMahon thinks very much about the fact that J.R and I have been successful. I don't think that McMahon thinks the wrestling announcers really have that much to contribute the show.
Jerry LawlerI'm an artist and I can draw very well. I'm amazed that everybody can't draw well because I can do it so effortlessly.
Jerry LawlerBut if I've heard this saying once, I've heard it a thousand times- everything happens for a reason. And possibly it does. I just haven't found the reason that this all happened yet.
Jerry LawlerHow could Triple H EVER be mad, how could he EVER have a bad day? How would you like to be married to her?! Wake up in a wonderful mood every morning. I mean, look at that!
Jerry LawlerIt's almost like while you are working for the WWF everything is fine and good, but if you are no longer employed by them they want you to just drop off the face of the earth and it's like you never existed.
Jerry Lawler