Robin Williams Quotes

Being a famous print journalist is like being the best-dressed woman on radio.

All the new people you meet, it's pretty amazing. The vampire needs new blood. And there is still a lot to learn and there is always great stuff out there. Even mistakes can be wonderful.

I feel like I'm a big human snot.

"It's just literally being afraid. And you think, oh, [the alcohol] will ease the fear. And it doesn't." What was he afraid of? "Everything. It's just a general all-round arggghhh. It's fearfulness and anxiety." He added, "For that first week you lie to yourself, and tell yourself you can stop, and then your body kicks back and says, no, stop later. And then it took about three years, and finally you do stop."

The dramas for me allow me to explore more behavioral, deeper psychological things. But the comedies obviously allow me to explore the idea of really working off other people. I'm having more fun doing that.

It's five o'clock in the morning. You've just pissed on a dumpster. It's Miller time.

Women! Can't live with 'em, can't live with 'em!

Sometimes you got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.

Honey, you [Michael Jackson] gotta pick a race first. All of a sudden you're a black man, then you're Diana Ross, now you're Audrey Hepburn. Then he's got the little beard going on. He's like Lord of the Rings, the entire cast. Michael's about to jump species.

I always wanted to play a big, black man, but that would cost too much make-up.

I've always improvised, and stand-up was this great release. All of a sudden, it was just me and the audience.

Keith Richards is the only man who can make the Osbournes look Amish.

What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.

It's the same sex all the time.

My comedy is like emotional hang-gliding.

Decaf is like masturbating with an oven mitt!

Gradual school is where you go to school and you gradually find out you don't want to go to school anymore.

I did an event in Washington, and it was like we lifted a sea.Immediately after [9/11], there was a stunned shock - kind of this feeling of "What do we do now?" I started performing, and there was a catharsis in the laughing. People started to be able to laugh again. Laughter can be many things - sometimes a medicine, sometimes a weapon, depending on.

I try to make sense of things. Which is why, I guess, I believe in destiny. There must be a reason that I am as I am. There must be.

People would say I never censor. As Billy Crystal says, 'I don't have that button.'

His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.

My mother's idea of natural childbirth was giving birth without makeup. She was hyper-positive - the world is a wonderful place, rainbows and unicorns. If you said anything contrary to her, you were basically exiled.

It doesn't matter who you are, if you've got the legs, you can hang with them.

What's my credibility? Why are they looking to me for advice? Isn't there someone more qualified?

If I asked you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell.

Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself.

Three wishes - no substitutes, exchanges or refunds

Self-reliance is the key to a vigorous life. A man must look inward to find his own answers.

I met Jonah Lomu. I never knew how huge he was. I felt like a peasant in a Godzilla movie. 'Quickly! Tell the other villagers! We go now!'

Cross-country running was so beautiful with all the trails and the lake regions ... very physical and also a bit spiritual, where you could come over the mountain and all of a sudden you'd see a Buddhist landscape fog.

I only ever play Vegas one night at a time.

When you have a great audience, you can just keep going and finding new things.

Please, don't worry so much. Because in the end, none of us have very long on this Earth. Life is fleeting.

Don't associate yourself with toxic people. It's better to be alone and love yourself than surrounded by people that make you hate yourself.

When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?

I love doing live action movies, but there's a great job in doing animation, especially one with music.

Look at airport security now. What started out as definite racial profiling is now where the computer picks a name. That's why you get a seven-month-old getting a pat down. [Imitates a security officer.] "Check the diapers. They're full."

Okra is the closest thing to nylon I've ever eaten. It's like they bred cotton with a green bean. Okra, tastes like snot. The more you cook it, the more it turns into string.

If you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? Carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary.

Sucking the marrow out of life doesn't mean choking on the bone.

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.

If you don't keep pushing the limits, you wake up one day and you're the "center square to block."

I can be trained, I can actually show you how intelligent I am, I can use a word like delicatessen and know what it means.

We Americans, we're a simple people . . . but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.

We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

Even evangelicals realize that Pinocchio's father was a carpenter too. That's the old joke.

You have an internal critic, an internal drive that says, 'OK, you can do more.' Maybe that's what keeps you going.

If we were interested in making money, we wouldn't have become teachers.