Robin Williams Quotes

Ever since my children were born, the moment I looked at them I was crazy about them. Once I held them I was hooked. I am addicted to my children sir. I love them with all my heart and the idea of someone telling me I can't be with them, I can't see them everyday. Well, it's like someone saying I can't have air.

The Chinese had accused the Tibetans of being terrorists, which is weird. A Tibetan terrorist is like an Amish hacker. It just doesn't fit.

Avoid using the word 'very' because it's lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don't use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason boys - to woo women - and in that endeavor, laziness will not do.

Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

Golf is one of the few sports where a white man can dress like a black pimp and not look bad.

You're best when you're not in charge. The ego locks the muse.

The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery.

Finding a good script is really difficult and the scariest thing of all is when they say about a script that's not right, "we will fix it.." It's like before you get on the Titanic and you see a big hole. In process, it's too late.

No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.

The French don't have a baseball team. And if they did, there'd only be a left field, and no one would be safe.

If you can remember the sixties, you weren't there.

Men may have wars, but women have their period. Men go off and kill each other, but women say nasty things, which is even better.

Jamie Kilstein is amazing and I will be spreading the word. He has the spark that energized my conscience. We need more comedians kicking it hard the way he does every night

I don't do well with snakes and I can't dance.

Women are incredibly intuitive. If anybody on the planet is going to evolve to the next level, that telekinetic thing, women will.

Clouds are like boogers hanging on the nostrils of the moon.

My favorite thing to do is ride a bicycle. I ride road bikes. And for me, it's mobile meditation.

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!

Everyone has these two visions when they hold their child for the first time. The first is your child as an adult saying "I want to thank the Nobel Committee for this award." The other is "You want fries with that?".

Bicycles are pieces of art. You get that combination of kinetic engineering, but then, besides the welds, the paint jobs, the kind of the sculpture of it all is quite beautiful. Bikes have such great lines, and all different styles.

The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.

In America, they really do mythologize people when they die.

Anything that is not funny at a certain point will be funny.

You don't need cocaine! There's another way to get real high, and really mess your mind up, it's called marathon running!

I learned that by being entertaining you make a connection with another person.

Cocaine for me was a place to hide. Most people get hyper on coke. It slowed me down. Sometimes it made me paranoid and impotent, but mostly it just made me withdrawn.

You have this idea that you'd better keep working otherwise people will forget. And that was dangerous. And then you realize, no, actually if you take a break people might be more interested in you.

The little idiosyncrasies that only I know about: that's what made her my wife. Oh she had the goods on me too, she knew all my little peccadilloes. People call these things imperfections, but they're not. Ah, that's the good stuff!

But only in their dreams can men be truly free. It was always thus and always thus will be.

I have no desire to go anywhere near drugs. People say, "Aren't you tempted?" No, because of the ridiculousness of it.

I used food to make myself feel better, but I felt worse when I ate.

It's cheaper to keep her.

Don't mess with me, man, I'm a lawyer!

I play a lot of computer games. I love computer graphics. I've had Pixar in me for a long time.

Do you think God gets stoned? I think so ... look at the platypus.

It is hard to find something where you can go off as much as I do in stand-up, but I think stand-up allows me that freedom where you can really go off and have a good time.

Explore an idea until you've exhausted it, really go to all the different parameters of it.

The meek may inherit the earth, but they don't get in to Harvard.

The sort of liveliness which increases with age is not far distant from madness.

What's wrong with death sir? What are we so mortally afraid of? Why can't we treat death with a certain amount of humanity and dignity, and decency, and God forbid, maybe even humor. Death is not the enemy gentlemen. If we're going to fight a disease, let's fight one of the most terrible diseases of all, indifference.

Shooting in New York is the shiznit, if I may be so bold. It was great. New York is a character. People who live here know that.

I just want to do movies, and I want to sell them. I don't want to link up with some product.

You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer.

When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker.

Shakespeare said, "Kill all the lawyers." There were no agents then.

The only weapon we have is comedy.

The human body was designed by a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area ?

Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.