Ladies, you may not realize this, understand this, or even believe this, but everything else we do is ultimately for you. Men don't do anything-create art, build businesses, donate to charity, invent things, or do anything noteworthy-for any reason other than to impress women, and thus get them to have sex with us. If women didn't exist, we'd still just be naked grunting apes living in caves. In a very real way, pussy is the key to human civilization. You don't have to like it, but it's a fact; if you understand it, you understand men.
Tucker MaxI love women, I love alcohol, and I love combining the two. If God invented anything better than drunk sex with a hot girl, he kept it to himself.
Tucker MaxMotherfucker. She leaves me no choice. Now I have to break her self-esteem, sleep with her and steal the shirt.
Tucker MaxThe dumbest women I hooked up with were in Florida. I lived in Florida for a year... and it was just shocking. I literally felt like after living there for a couple months that I had become stupider. It was unbelievable. If you read the stories on my site that are based around crazy women, about 75 percent of those women were in Floridaย and I only lived there for a year.
Tucker MaxListen to authority figures because of their position, but only believe them if they can explain why.
Tucker MaxThe hardest lesson I've had to learn in my life is that my intelligence is inversely correlated to my humility. The more I thought I knew, the less I actually knew.
Tucker MaxHelping reproductive services doesn't just help women in isolation. It helps men just as much.
Tucker MaxI try to explain to people that the only way to be cool is to be who you truly are, and the only way to live life is to do the things that you want to do and be the person that you want to be no matter who that is or what that is or how you have to do it. That's the only way you can be genuinely happy.
Tucker MaxThe devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for.
Tucker MaxMy buddies and I, we all went to law school together, and once we started working in different cities, we all did crazy stuff, and we'd write e-mails to each other about the stuff we would do. And my friends thought my e-mails were really funny and they said, "Dude, why don't you put this up on a Web site. You know people would love to read this."
Tucker MaxFrankly, I'd rather make a little bit less money if it means living in a better world for books and publishing in the future.
Tucker MaxI take a lull from my CamelBak and choke at its potency. It tastes like bad decisions. It's perfect.
Tucker MaxYes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but everyone forgets the second half of that quote: the road to heaven is paved with good actions.
Tucker MaxIf your parents ignored you, or if they are just not emotionally available, or if they yell a lot, that is a type of trauma.
Tucker MaxI'm not West Coast at all. I was born in Atlanta, but I grew up in Kentucky, outside of Lexington, in Winchester.
Tucker MaxOne big lesson I learned from movie [making] was I don't do creative projects that I headline unless I have all the control. I can't deal with having to live with other people's screw ups, and that's just sort of the way the movie business works. The people with the money are in charge. Until I'm in charge, I don't want to play that game.
Tucker MaxI think that there's a lot of guys out there that want to read the equivalent of chick lit, but really there's not being much written for them.
Tucker MaxYou know that look a cop gives you when he's so confused that he doesn't even know how to respond? If you don't know that look, it means you haven't had enough fun in your life.
Tucker MaxCalling one thing 'literature' and another 'fiction' is a way to create status where there is none.
Tucker MaxMen will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as 'deserving' respect; you get what you demand from people.
Tucker MaxI don't want to compare myself to Picasso, but he had four or five periods in his life. Any good artist grows and changes and matures.
Tucker MaxThis may come as a shock to some of you, but I have a slightly volatile personality. I donโt suffer fools well.
Tucker MaxI'm not even the coolest one of my friends. I'm just the guy who sat down and wrote everything down. Like I know plenty of people who do crazier stuff than I do.
Tucker MaxHalloween revolves around delicious candy, excessive alcohol, and horny women dressed as sluts. This also describes my vision of Heaven.
Tucker MaxThe idea that guys should walk into a bar and confidently initiate contact and then seduce a woman based on a short term conversation is a toxic cultural myth that robs guys of self-confidence and that holds them up to an unrealistic standard that they have to become a super-extraverted narcissist in order to 'score with women'
Tucker MaxYou can't fill your emails with crap, at least not with my friends, because they're brutal. If something sucks, they'll tell you.
Tucker MaxIf you read the book, you're not a journalist. You're some impostor! No journalist actually does any work.
Tucker MaxHollywood, it's just like high school. Whoever is pretty and popular, everyone wants to be with.
Tucker MaxThe general intellectual level of South Florida is somewhere just above "functionally retarded".
Tucker MaxI started writing because it was about making my friends laugh, and when you're talking to your friends, you can't bullshit.
Tucker MaxI laugh at people who say things like 'I'm a good person, I just do bad things.' No, that's not how it works. What you do IS who you are.
Tucker MaxThe vast majority of all consequences, especially in 21st century America, are completely meaningless bullshit.
Tucker MaxI think 20th century media were about tricking people - and the beauty of the Internet is you can't lie anymore.
Tucker MaxCommunication is not what we say, but what you hear (which is a lesson I wish our educational system understood)
Tucker Max