When you are in trouble, people who call to sympathize are really looking for the particulars.
E. W. HoweWe are not free, it was not intended we should be. A book of rules is placed in our cradle, and we never get rid of it until we reach our graves. Then we are free, and only then.
E. W. HoweWe must be truthful and fair in the ordinary affairs of life before we can be truthful and fair in patriotism and religion.
E. W. HoweIn thousands of years there has been no advance in public morals, in philosophy, in religion or in politics, but the advance in business has been the greatest miracle the world has ever known.
E. W. HoweA women could never be President. A condidate must be over 35, and where are you going to find a woman who will admit she's over 35?
E. W. HoweRaising children is like making biscuits: it is as easy to raise a big batch as one, while you have your hands in the dough.
E. W. HoweWhen people hear good music, it makes them homesick for something they never had, and never will have.
E. W. HoweWhen a man once gets a start holding office, it is nearly always necessary to finally choke him off.
E. W. HoweAt first a woman doesn't want anything but a husband, but as soon as gets one, she wants everything else in the world.
E. W. HoweA loafer never works except when there is a fire; then he will carry out more furniture than anybody.
E. W. HoweIt is hard to convince a high-school student that he will encounter a lot of problems more difficult than those of algebra and geometry.
E. W. HoweThe man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep.
E. W. HoweThere must be some good in the cocktail party to account for its immense vogue among otherwise sane people.
E. W. HoweA boy doesn't have to go to war to be a hero; he can say he doesn't like pie when he sees there isn't enough to go around.
E. W. HoweI express many absurd opinions. But I am not the first man to do it; American freedom consists largely in talking nonsense.
E. W. HoweOne of the surprising things in this world is the respect a worthless man has for himself.
E. W. Howe