Zach Braff Quotes

I'm not the kind of person who digs through things other people have thrown away.

Sometimes you just gotta use what God gave you to the best of your abilities.

In my opinion, one of the biggest drawbacks about Sergio Leone films are the scores composed by Ennio Morricone. If [Leone] were as talented as I am, he would have made mixtapes for his movies instead of letting some schmuck write the soundtracks for him. But then if he were as talented as I am, he'd be Zach Braff. And have his own Grammy.

I don't think restaurants should refuse to serve minority people. They are quite tasty when prepared correctly.

I really couldn't say how famous I really am, that's for the history books to decide. But I'll probably be pretty up there.

Once both gay marriage and marijuana are finally legal, those of you against them are not invited to the really fun parties I'm gonna throw.

I blame Walt Disney; well he has to find voice actors better than me somehow doesn't he?

I never really understood all the hype, until I got one of my own.

When you win your first Grammy, it's true, you really want to thank all the little people.

I know every politician spins the truth a little.

I think the [New England] Patriots' season should have an asterisk next to it because everything they're accomplishing is against teams coached by people other than me.

I find my movie props in my neighbors houses.

I've always preferred Marvel over DC. I just relate to their characters better. I mean look at Wolverine, at first he was just a bit player in an ensemble cast. Now he's the only reason people read X-Men. Just like me and Scrubs.

Yeah i saw An Inconvenient Truth, and i dont want to say it was preachy but let's not kid ourselves, i've got far more important work to do

Well, you need to have at least one black friend, otherwise people think you're racist

I don't want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn't help matters.

I use the N word almost daily. It reminds me that I'm successful

I'm not actually an arrogant guy. It's just that, truthfully, nobody else can really compare to me.

I never looked at bread the same way again

Michael Eisner contacted me once and asked me if he could change the name of Disneyland to 'Braffland.' I said no, because whenever I go to Disneyland there's always fat people everywhere wearing tight clothes. Disneyland, frankly, has a lot of improving to do before it gets my namesake.

It's funny when I read the tabloids and they're reporting on only a fraction of the life I'm leading.

I don't think that other races are inferior, I just think that there's something special about white people. Sometimes, when I think about all the things white people have accomplished throughout history, I smile, and I nod, and I think to myself, 'Yeah, I'm glad I'm on that team.'

Yeah, the gay pride movement is precious and all, but I think it's about time we asked ourselves what gay people really have to offer to society.

I definitely try to play a common man in my roles so people can identify with my characters, but the truth of the matter is that it doesn't really matter what I do or my lines are, I'm still Zach Braff, and people know I'm better than them.

It's hard for me not to be extraordinarily cute. I had to fight it.

Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.

The thing about all these charities is that who sees where the money goes? I don't and you don't. For all I know, the president of Make a Wish just used all the money to buy himself a mansion and a yacht. That's why I keep all of my money for myself, at least then I know I'm doing good for at least one person for sure.

If nothing else, I'm making a movie that I'll enjoy.

Let's face it, it's only called Scrubs because I'm saving 'Zach Braff' for my autobiography.

You know I was just taking a dump one day, and then as I sat there I realized, I really do deserve better.

I don't even like the show that much, I mean, it's about doctors. It's not like doctors are as important as actors anyway, I bet I've saved more lives with my acting talent then any doctor has.

I have no desire to make money off musicians. I just want to promote them because I want to share music.

It's always weird being the only white person in a group. It feels like everyone's looking to me for guidance.

Of course killing people is 'wrong', but I think history shows that sometimes it serves the greater good.

I never go easy on kids when I play board games. The sooner they learn what the consequence of entering a competition is, the better. If they win, I punch them in the face like any adult.

Whenever I'm feeling a bit down, I always visit the local children's hospital. Knowing that those cancer-kids wont be able to live long enough to surpass me in fame just warms my heart, you know?

Most people just aren't grateful for the lives they have, and it really saddens me. For instance, I said 'hello' to a man the other day, and he didn't even recognize me. It just really saddens me.

Im just not really attracted to black chicks.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

I know I probably should be sad about my mother's cancer... but she still hasn't seen The Last Kiss, you know?

I remember once I went to go see a movie, and in front of me in line there was a little boy who looked so eager to see it, like it was Christmas morning. When he got to the ticket booth it turned out there was only one ticket left; the manager was there and wanted to give it to me instead since I was famous. That's when I knew I'd hit it big.

I'd really like to give back to the world, but everything I've achieved, I've earned on my own, so what's the point?

Hitler had the right idea. He was just an underachiever.

It depresses me when people expect me to be like the characters I play on film. I'm not some whiny loser punk, I'm a man's man.

I stand stark naked in front of the mirror and gaze directly into my own eyes. I utter 'Good morning, handsome' and my lips quiver as I stare at myown body. I don't break eye contact until I blow my load. Not once do I actually touch myself.

There is one person I can think of better than me. And that's Zach Braff. What a cool guy.

I was excited about The Dark Knight until Heath Ledger gave away the ending, Batman always wins.

Now, I'm not going to be misquoted on this like I have numerous times before, so I'll be quite clear. I've never said hitler was my hero, just that if he had focused on more than one race he would have had the right idea. Try to turn that one against me.