Kin Hubbard Quotes

One of the commonest ailments of the present day is the premature formation of opinion.

My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who has lost three husbands.

No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech.

It used to be that a fellow went on the police force when everything else failed, but today he goes in the advertising game.

You won't skid if you stay in a rut.

Another bad thing about "prosperity" is that you can't jingle any money without being under suspicion

We're all self-made men, but not very many of us have stayed on the job.

Who remembers when we used to rest on Sunday instead of Monday?

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

It isn't enough for you to love money - it's also necessary that money should love you.

Don't say yes until I've finished talking. - Attributed to many Hollywood executives Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.

Beauty is . . . a valuable asset if you're poor or haven't any sense.

The election is not very far off when a candidate can recognize you across the street.

There isn't much to be seen in a little town, but what you hear makes up for it.

I haven't heard of anybody who wants to stop living on account of the cost.

Don't a fellow feel good after he gets out of a store where he nearly bought something.

The rich man and his daughter are soon parted.

University: ... a place where rich men send their sons who have no aptitude for business.

All the world loves a good loser.

There's many a slip twixt the blueprints and a new house.

A fellow ought to save a few of the long evenings he spends with his girl till after they're married.

Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.

Whoever takes just plain ginger ale soon gets drowned out of the conversation.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

If there's anything a public servant hates to do it's something for the public.

There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?

Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil.

There ought t'be some way t'eat celery so it wouldn't sound like you wuz steppin' on a basket.

It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth once they inherit it.

Gittin' talked about is one o' th' penalties for bein' purty, while bein' above suspicion is about th' only compensation fer bein' homely.

All I kin git out o' the Wickersham position on prohibition is that the distinguished jurist seems to feel that if we'd let 'em have it the problem o' keepin' 'em from gitten;' it would be greatly simplified

Look out for the people who allow you to do all the talking.

When some fellers decide to retire nobody knows the difference.

When you consider what a chance women have to poison their husbands, it's a wonder there isn't more of it done

After a fellow gets famous it doesn't take long for someone to bob up that used to sit by him in school.

It seems that nothing ever gets to going good till there's a few resignations

Fashion: a barricade behind which men hide their nothingness.

Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.

Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.

Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

In spite of all our speeding it's still the style to be late.

Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

In order to live off a garden, you practically have to live in it.

Lots of fellows think a home is only good to borrow money on.

I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans.

Washing your car and polishing it all up is a never failing sign of rain.

I will say this for adversity: people seem to be able to stand it, and that is more than I can say for prosperity.