Kin Hubbard Quotes

Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.

The hardest thing is writing a recommendation for someone we know.

It's what a fellow thinks he knows that hurts him.

If there's any literary ability in a feller, getting fired out of a good government job will bring it out.

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.

Some folks pay a compliment like they went down in their pocket for it.

Hon Editor Cale Fluhart was a power politically fer years, but he never got prominent enough t' have his speeches garbled.

Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee much later than others.

Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.

"Why doesn't the fellow who says, "I'm no speechmaker," let it go at that instead of giving a demonstration? "

A good listener is usually thinking about something else.

A bee is never as busy as it seems; it's just that it can't buzz any slower.

I don't know of anything better than a woman if you want to spend money where it will show.

Only one fellow in ten thousand understands the currency question, and we meet him every day.

Knowin' all about baseball is just about as profitable as bein' a good whittler.

When a woman says, 'I don't wish to mention any names', it means it ain't necessary to mention any names.

I never saw an athletic girl that thought she was strong enough to do indoor work.

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

About the only thing we have left that actually discriminates in favor of the plain people is the stork.

Nobody ever grew despondent looking for trouble.

No matter how much strong black coffee we drink, almost any after- dinner speech will counteract it.

As to those who hoard gold and silver and spend it not in God's path, give them, then, the tidings of a painful agony: on a day when these things shall be heated in hell-fire, and their foreheads, and their sides, and their backs shall be branded therewith.

Every father expects his boy to do the things he wouldn't do when he was young.

Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.

Gittin' talked about is one o' th' penalties for bein' purty.

Plain spoken people get most of the recognition because folks are afraid of them.

Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.

Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.

If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy.

We like little children, because they tear out as soon as they get what they want.

Politics makes strange post-masters.

Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought.

Of all the unbearable nuisances, the ignoramus that has traveled is the worst.

The worst waste of breath, next to playing a saxophone, is advising a son

Most parents don't worry about a daughter until she fails to show up for breakfast.

The only time some fellows are seen with their wives is after they're indicted.

Litigation: A form of hell whereby money is transferred from the pockets of the proletariat to that of lawyers.

There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose.

If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on a vacation.

Where ignorance is bliss it's foolish to borrow your neighbor's newspaper.

A sympathizer is a fellow that's for you as long as it doesn't cost anything.

Some people are so sensitive that they feel snubbed if an epidemic overlooks them.

A never-failing way to get rid of a fellow is to tell him something for his own good.

Executive: a man who makes quick decisions and is sometimes right.

We'd all like to vote for the best man but he's never a candidate.

Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt.