Bob Hope Quotes

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It's not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course - you just follow the wounded.

Bob Hope

Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.

Bob Hope

I'd give up golf if I didn't have so many sweaters.

Bob Hope

Gerry Ford is easy to spot on the course. He drives the cart with the red cross painted on top.

Bob Hope

I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.

Bob Hope

It flies so high, I swear I heard the organs playing.

Bob Hope

As soon as the war ended, we located the one spot on earth that hadn't been touched by the war and blew it to hell.

Bob Hope

The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I've been doing that all my life.

Bob Hope

Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.

Bob Hope

Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.

Bob Hope

It gave dirty politics a bad name.

Bob Hope

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

Bob Hope

The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.

Bob Hope

Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.

Bob Hope

Everybody is afraid they won't have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.

Bob Hope

I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.

Bob Hope

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people.

Bob Hope

If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.

Bob Hope

Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it's also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.

Bob Hope

Vice President Spiro Agnew can not cheat on his score : because all you have to do is look back down the fairway and count the wounded.

Bob Hope

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

Bob Hope

Baseball is a soap opera that plays out day after day, one that a lot of elderly women watch until the characters and the plot becomes a part of their life. She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family.

Bob Hope

Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren't penalized for being on grass.

Bob Hope

I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there.

Bob Hope

I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support.

Bob Hope

Please don't stand up on my account.

Bob Hope

There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.

Bob Hope

If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.

Bob Hope

I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.

Bob Hope

I can't give up Golf, I've got too many sweaters.

Bob Hope

Welcome to the Academy Awards, or, as it's known at my house, Passover.

Bob Hope

When you get over 95, every day is your day.

Bob Hope

Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!

Bob Hope

Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?

Bob Hope

I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.

Bob Hope

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

Bob Hope

Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that?

Bob Hope

You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.

Bob Hope

I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.

Bob Hope

I led such a sheltered life I didn't go out with girls until I was almost four.

Bob Hope

The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn't got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.

Bob Hope

The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent's handshake.

Bob Hope

My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They're still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.

Bob Hope

Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome - the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.

Bob Hope

England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.

Bob Hope

We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back.

Bob Hope

My folks were English . . . we were too poor to be British.

Bob Hope

I've been playing golf a long time, although it's not really true that on my first round they strapped my bag on the back of a dinosaur.

Bob Hope
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