Will Rogers Quotes

There is no more interesting place in the world to meet characters than a movie set.

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

A company is known by the people it keeps.

When you're through learning, you're through.

Every Gag I tell must be based on truth. No matter how much I may exaggerate it, it must have a certain amount of Truth.... Now Rumor travels Faster, but it don't stay put as long as Truth.

The business of government is to keep the government out of business - that is, unless business needs government aid.

There is a terrible lot of us who don't think that we come from a monkey, but if there are some people who think that they do, why, it's not our business to rob them of what little pleasure they might get out of imagining it.

Every day you meet a delegation going to some convention to try and change the way of somebody else's life.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

Ignorance lies not in the things you don't know, but in the things you know that ain't so.

Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?

The stock market has spoiled more appetites than bad cooking.

That's the trouble with a politician's life-somebody is always interrupting it with an election.

The trouble with Democrats is that they all want to run for President

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

If you want to know how a man stands, go among the people who are in his same business.

The best way out of a difficulty is through it.

Politicians are just a bunch of local bandits, sent by their local voters to raid the public treasury.

There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.

Harvard students have completed more English courses and less forward passes than any school in this generation.

We're all ignorant, just about different stuff.

The US is safest when Congress is in recess.

Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Samuel Gompers has spent his life trying to keep labor from working too hard and has succeeded beyond his wildest dreams.

There is nothing that sets a nation back as far in civilization as prosperity.

With all our crime and all our immorality ... and about as much contentment and respose as a fresh-caged hyena, we go to tell the whole world: we are the only one with the right idea!

Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.

A liberal is a man who wants to use his own ideas on things in preference to generations who he knows know more than he does.

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.

We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.

Nobody wants his cause near as bad as he wants to talk about his cause.

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights.

If you don't have malice in our heart, it doesn't come across harsh.

Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.

What would we say if the Chinese sent a gunboat with their marines up the Mississippi River claiming they were protecting their laundries in Memphis?

A woman can make a man feel older or younger than his years if she so chooses. Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men. Women were made with a sense of humor so they could love men instead of laughing at them.

Our country has plenty of five-cent cigars, but the trouble is they charge fifteen cents for them.

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

Take me ham away, take away my eggs, even my Chili, but leave me my newspaper.

My own mother died when I was 10 years old. My folks have told me that what little humor I have comes from her. I can't remember her humor, but I can remember her love and understanding of me.

There are three types of men in the world. One type learns from books. One type learns from observations. And one type just has to urinate on the electric fence himself.

Mothers are the only race of people that speak the same tongue. A mother in Manchuria could converse with a mother in Nebraska and never miss a word.

You know, women always could endure more than men. Not only physically, but mentally - did you ever get a peek at some of the husbands?

Americans are getting like a Ford car, they all have the same exact parts, the same upholstering and make exactly the same noises.